Insensitive, Divisive, or Self-Serving? Taking on Problem Behaviors | “You” Power

You experience them. You may even mention them–things that are done and said at work that aren’t right.

We don’t do our jobs in a vacuum. We have to interact with others. The attitudes and behaviors of our bosses, coworkers, and customers contribute to the culture of the workplace. They make it  consistently positive, negative, or a bit of both.

So what happens when you see and hear insensitive, divisive, or self-serving words and actions that don’t sit well with you? Do you:

• Keep silent (a signal of consensus)?
• Report it to the boss or HR for action?
• Complain to coworkers who feel as you do?
• Take action in your own way?

The power to affect change comes from within you. It takes a plan and committed, sustained action. The power of “you” can be formidable.

“You” Power

We often think that only management can fix what’s wrong with a company’s culture, even  when they’re a part of the problem.

We may think that sexism, bullying, antagonism between labor and management, and an everyone-for-themselves performance mentality are behaviors we have to learn to live with.

Sadly, that’s why these behaviors continue and escalate.

We all have positive role models we try to emulate. Now it’s our turn to be that positive example at work,  one day at a time.

We can each contribute to turning negative behaviors around by:

• Becoming a conscience for what is right
• Setting an example by what we say and do

It’s not for us to get on a soapbox necessarily, but simply to intervene, one-on-one in most cases, to call attention to a more positive way to communicate and act.

Consider personal objectives like these:

1. ) Increase awareness of language and actions that have overtones

When you hear language that’s sexist or ethnically insensitive, suggest a more appropriate  choice of words to the individual speaking or writing. Suggest that certain assignments be balanced between women and men.

In the hurry of the workplace, some coworkers may not be aware of the stereotypes they are promoting through their speech and assignments. Serving as a conscience has real power.

2.) Refuse to gossip

There’s always news that spreads throughout the workplace, but much of it can be hearsay, personal, undermining, and counterproductive. When we listen to or contribute to gossip, we become its agent.

Each time we decline to participate and offer our rationale for why, we influence one or more coworkers. That may lead to some to gossip about us, but it sets the right example, furthers your cause, and may also counteract some bullying.

3.) Discourage “us” v. “them” attitudes

Blaming can become rampant in organizations. It can target employees (us) versus management (them), employees in one group versus those in another, or you versus someone who, you believe, has made you look bad. Nothing good comes from blaming.

If you  believe in personal accountability, as I do, then you can wield personal power by always owning the outcomes of your work, being unwilling to enter into the blame game, and expecting others to also own their work. When they don’t, that’s an opportunity for you to raise their awareness.

4.) Quell complaining and venting

If coworkers know you will listen to their complaints, they will continue to unload on you. If, when they start, you say you’re too pressed for time to listen or call attention to what they did to create the issue, they will likely stop.

A great many complainers fill their days dumping their load on anyone who will listen. If you reduce their audience by one, others may follow suit.

A matter of time

 Making a difference takes time. The more ingrained the insensitive, divisive, and self-serving behavior, the more difficult it is to change. You have it in your power to influence other people. Whether it’s one or many, it just matters that you do what you can to have an affect.

Every action you take has the potential to inspire someone else to follow your lead or tap into their own “you” power. What could be better?

Photo from F-2 via Flickr

 

The “Aggravating” Supervisor Problem | What’s an Employee to Do?

There’s a lot of talk about “attitude” in the workplace: 

• “That employee is giving me a lot of ‘attitude.’”
• “If s/he had a better attitude, the work would get done on time.”
• “Good performance is about attitude.” 

Our attitude speaks to our disposition and/or our frame of mind. That’s the platform we start from when we come to work. Built into our attitudes is our sense of fair play, honesty, respect, and authenticity.  When we don’t get that from our supervisors, it’s aggravating. 

The “supervisor effect” on attitude 

We expect our supervisors to do right by us and our coworkers, to be principled, and to consider the good of the team over self. When they don’t, it affects our attitude. 

When supervisors aggravate us, we: 

• Become uncooperative, pushing back on direction and/or slacking off
• Resist requests to change the way we perform work
• Stop communicating, withholding ideas
• Won’t engage in new initiatives, our development, and/or stretch goals 

We become “negative” because we see no upside to aligning with the boss. 

Assertiveness is our friend 

The more we shrink from the aggravating heavy-handedness and insensitivities of our supervisors, the more we reinforce their behavior. 

Remember: We own our careers, so we need to ensure that we can perform fully and satisfactorily in them. 

When supervisors don’t listen to our ideas, provide for adequate communication, enable us to do our work, or reward us fairly, we need to take action. 

Okay, I know you don’t want to get in your boss’s face and risk losing your job. But there are things you can do and say respectfully. 

Here are six ways an aggravating supervisor may behave and how you can counter him/her assertively (in italics) when s/he: 

• Plays the command and control card—“I expect you to follow my instructions as given without question. Understood?”
• “What would you like me to do if the process breaks down? Shall I just continue? Or would you like me to contact you? I’ll follow your instructions.”
• Thinks s/he’s the smartest—“I know the best way to solve this problem, so there’s no need for a meeting on it.”
• “We have two people in the department who dealt with a similar situation before you took over. Does your idea include their input? I mention this because I know how important the result is to you.”
• Doesn’t listen or acknowledge—“Yes, I heard you. I’m so busy. I’ll get back to you later if I have time.”
• “I can’t proceed with this project without your input. I’d like to schedule a specific time to meet later today. When are you available?
• Finds a way to make you wrong—“You could have gotten that project completed a day before deadline if you had only used the newly installed software.
• “I was gratified to meet the demanding deadline. Using the newly installed software would have cost us a day because users were unfamiliar with it.”
• Provides no rewards—“Well, team, the largest project we’ve ever been assigned was successfully completed. There will be no compensation or recognition for your extra hours. That’s just they way things are these days.”
• “Even though the company can’t compensate us for extra work, there are other ways we can celebrate our achievement. I have a few ideas or would you like to start?”
• Runs over you—“I don’t have time to wait until you get up to speed on these new regulations. I’ll assign it to someone else or do it myself.”
• “With all due respect, this is my job responsibility. I am fully committed to doing what is needed to learn this material. What specifically must I do and how would you like me to proceed?” 

Turn the tables 

Most supervisors don’t want to aggravate us, but just do. And, yes, we also aggravate them. Instead of complaining, we need to help to turn an aggravating supervisor into an engaging one? Ready to try? 

Photo from jean-louis zimmermann via Flickr

Supervisory Courage or Cowardice? | Handling Employees With “Attitude”

Do you have one of these? An employee who’s negative, resistant, complaining and blaming, or uncooperative. One is bad enough, but more than one can be unbearable.

What you resist persists. 

Confronting behavior problems is no fun, but it’s a supervisor’s job! Employees with “bad” attitudes won’t get any better when the supervisor:

• Ignores them
• Makes excuses for them
• Accommodates the them
• Accepts them
• Rewards them by giving in 

The hard reality is that supervisors need to TALK to these employees about what they are doing and why.

That “talk” word makes many a supervisor’s blood run cold. They often don’t want to face that employee, don’t know how to conduct or control the meeting, or aren’t clear about the outcome they want.

So they keep putting off the confrontation until work is compromised, other employees are negatively affected, and their effectiveness as a supervisor is questioned. The problem persists!

Start by trying to understand the cause. 

To get the ball rolling, supervisors needs to accept two premises:

• There is an underlying reason why an employee’s attitude is “bad” and the supervisor needs to find that out. 
• The employee owns his/her attitude problem. The supervisor is responsible for mitigating its negative impact on work group performance.   

Too many supervisors feel that they need to defend themselves when they confront. Remember: It’s the employee’s attitude that is causing the problem.  The onus is on them to improve, not the supervisor.

Take charge. 

Don’t delay. Meet with the employee as soon as you observe the unwanted attitude.  Start by identifying the unacceptable attitude/behavior you have observed like:

• Negative or accusative statements
• Work not submitted on time or according to instructions
• Fault finding with other employees or the supervisor
• Defensiveness or being dismissive of others
• Bullying or actions that incite conflict 

State the specific instance(s) where you personally observed the attitude or behavior. State the impact that these behaviors have on the work.

Ask, “What is driving your attitude/behavior?” Then listen. Ask for clarification until you understand what’s behind it all.

When you think you’ve got it, say, “I want to be sure I understand what your reasons are. I heard you say____. Is that correct?”

Solutions are both art and science. 

To get behavior change, there is an element of negotiation and a bit of compromise. Supervisors need to reinforce exactly the behavior they expect and how they know when they are getting it. You need to make that clear up front.

The next step is to ask, “Are you willing to make the effort to change?” If the answer is “No,” then you need to tell the employee that his/her job will be at risk.

If the answer is “Yes,” then ask, “What will you do to turn your attitude around? How can I, as your supervisor, help/support you?” The employee commits to action and the supervisor to support.

Next you schedule specific times when you will meet to discuss progress. To start, that’s at least weekly. As things improve, less frequently.

The employee needs to understand that you expect to see significant improvement within a 3 month period. Along the way, you’ll be restating your expectations and giving specific feedback.

The effort and consequences must be real. 

The time supervisors invest in an employee with a “bad” attitude is significant. The reward is a positive turn-around. However, not everyone will change, so termination of employment is a potential consequence.

When you invest time in employees who are difficult, you also make an impression on your good employees. They will see that you care, observe what it means to supervise, and accept the fairness of the outcome.

Business fit supervisors are prepared and ready to face and resolve tough challenges. It’s no picnic but it’s worth it!

What experiences have you had supervising or working with an employee with a “bad” attitude? Did you know the cause? What happened to him/her?