Feeling Thankful or Resentful? 5 Attitudes to Fuel Job Happiness

A job is a relationship. When we sign on, we marry its requirements and the family that comes with it–a boss, coworkers, and customers.

A job can bring bliss or frustration on any given day. The only constant in our jobs is us. The skills we bring, our attitudes, and the actions we take make an indelible impact on our job happiness.

So, what’s your take?

Call it chemistry or culture, every workplace has a vibe. It may be upbeat, sour, defensive, or exciting. Whatever the tone, we are prone to be affected by it.

For some reason, it’s easier to see the bleak side of things, especially when those around us are harping about the:

• unfair workload
• self-serving boss
• crumby equipment
• frustrating customer complaints

Where we work isn’t supposed to be paradise. A workplace is more like a laboratory where we experiment and test new ideas, applications, and improvements. It’s a place where change, challenge, and disruption are the rule rather than the exception.

This realization can help us recalibrate our expectations about the swirl of things around us. Instead of resenting them, there’s reason to be thankful.

The gratitude edge

Getting happy at work means reconfiguring the way we see things and recognizing the asset value of the challenges and personalities that make up our surroundings. Gratitude for the opportunity to be in the mix is actually good for us.

Mary MacVean of the Tribune Newspapers, wrote in a December 31, 2012 article:

…if we developed the discipline [of gratitude] on a regular basis, year-round, research shows we’d be happier and suffer less depression and stress. We’d sleep better and be better able to face our problems.”

Then she quotes Robert Emmons, a University of California at Davis professor who has been studying gratitude since 1998:

…it’s one of the few things that ‘can measurably change people’s lives. Gratitude implies humility–a recognition that we could not be who we are or where we are in life without the contributions of others.’

The issue of humility is a big one: It’s about recognizing that we have the job we’re in because, along the way and even now, other people:

• encouraged us
• gave us training
• attested to our abilities
• had our backs
• gave us opportunity
• lent a hand

Our successes are not just about us–our deeds, our smarts, and our promise. They also comes through others.

5 Strategies

We all have down days at work, days when we’re not sure we’re in the right job. That’s just reality.

In total, though, our progress comes from the series of tests that we overcome with the help of bosses and colleagues who give us a shot, promote our capabilities, and help us move forward.

Attitudes of gratefulness need to be practiced. To increase your job happiness, you can start by being thankful for:

1. The comfort of a paycheck, even if it’s less than what you may need or want. It’s predictability is a secure foundation for the financial and career choices you make going forward.
2. Essential job duties that help you master or expand your skills while learning how they impact the business and insights that can position you for another job within or outside your company
3. A difficult boss who requires you to become more assertive, a better negotiator, more thick skinned, a better performer, or a more strategic thinker
4. Trusted workmates who encourage you, teach you tricks of the trade, help you get out of your shell, walk you through disappointments, offer friendship
5. Good working conditions with current technologies, safe equipment, comfortable facilities, and benefits

Seek thankfulness

Every job doesn’t meet our every need, but there are always good features we can be thankful for. The grass is not always greener, so we need to feed and water the grass we have under our feet.

The more you can grasp and internalize the reasons you have to be grateful in your job, the happier you will be. Smile…that helps too!

Photo from from Ateupamateur via Flickr

(No) Thanks for (Not) Giving at the Office | Selflessness at Work

“I gave at the office! ” That’s the put-off line used by many when asked for yet another donation to a charity, special cause, or fund-raiser. It’s a kind of cop out to stop the asking, whether we gave or not.

The reality is: There are many truly compelling reasons why we’re asked to contribute time and money to help people in dire trouble, some we may know and many we don’t.

We witnessed it in the 2012 devastation and loss of life caused by:

• Hurricane Sandy on the east coast
• Raging forest fires out west
• Tornados in the mid-west
• Relentless drought across the country

The news coverage connects us with the human misery, the disruption to people’s lives, and the unfathomable monetary and material loss. “There, but for the grace of God, go I,” we say to ourselves.

Many of us look for some way to help. We may send money through organizations like the American Red Cross or Salvation Army. We may hop on buses or get in our cars and go to lend a hand.

In a dramatic crisis, something in our hearts motivates us to help however we can.

Pain at the office

Our jobs can become increasingly demanding, so it’s easy to become absorbed in our own daily grind. We’re engrossed in meeting performance expectations, dealing the boss’s idiosyncrasies, struggling with changing work methods, and managing our time.

The truth is: Crises find their way into our offices. They may affect your work unit, the department, the company, or simply the coworker you sit next to.

It’s things like:

• A new employee who 1.) no one talks to; 2.) is mistreated, 3.) makes mistakes, or 4.) struggles to master the work
• A persistent conflict among coworkers who can’t find common ground on a work issue
• A boss who alienates certain team members because s/he doesn’t understand how the work is done
• A failed work process that caused customer outrage
• A workplace accident resulting in the serious injury of several employees
• An unexpected workload that must be completed asap to meet customer deadlines

The big question is: What are you prepared to do?

• Will you wait until someone asks you to pitch in?
• Will you lay low because you “don’t want to get your hands dirty?”
• Will you  step up and offer your ideas, expertise, time, and/or leadership?

When trouble comes to your office, there’s an opportunity to “give” of yourself because it’s the right thing to do.

Selflessness is part courage.

Crises are relative. A crisis to you may or may not be a crisis to me. It just matters that when people feel that the situations they’re in are more than they can handle, you have an opportunity to offer help.

Crises manifest confusion. Leadership promises to restore order. Your selfless entry into a crisis of any dimension is a willingness to address that confusion and quell some of it.

As with any disaster, we need to give what we know we can. It’s not about over-extending or over-reaching.

At work you can:

• Help that struggling coworker by showing them how to avoid errors or helping them build friendships
• Offer an idea that will help conflicting parties reach a compromise
• Talk to the boss about his/her work knowledge if you have the right kind of relationship with him/her
• Provide an idea that will help fix that failed customer process
• Suggest a change in safety procedures
• Work extra hours to meet that surprise workload

That’s how you “give at the office” when things get dicey. It’s about you thinking more about someone else than about yourself.

Thanks giving

Getting in the habit of giving selflessly at work and in the community enriches us. It’s a habit that builds on itself. The more we do, the easier it gets.

When we recognize the value of those opportunities to give, the “thanks giving” comes from within us. In many cases, “ thanks getting” will follow.

Photo from paperbacklou via Flickr

Who Are You When Things Go Wrong? | Tapping Into Gratitude

We don’t always get what we think we deserve. Situations can take a downturn in a blink. Promises made aren’t always kept. That’s just the way life is and has always been.

There are times when we may expect things to go wrong. Usually that means we’re prepared for it physically and mentally. We still may not like it, but those situations go down easier than stunning surprises.

We learn a lot about ourselves when our stress level is exceeded–and so does everyone around us.

Keep an eye on yourself

All kinds of things at work can tax you:

• Coworkers who don’t pull their weight and dump assignments on you
• Bosses who break their promises to you
• Job loss, reassignment, and/or poor ratings out of the blue
• Customers or colleagues who make false statements about you

When you’re pushed to the brink, what do you do?

• Pick a fight, go on the defensive, or play the blame game
• Curl up in a ball, seek sympathy, or start looking for a way out
• Look for solutions, ask for information, or seek help from your network
• Take a deep breath, assess what’s really going on, and develop a workable plan

I like things to be under control, predictable, and within my ability to influence. So it’s also a test for me when a crisis creates excessive turmoil.

Accept what you can’t control. Be grateful for what you can.

When you’re having a bad day, someone else is having a worse one. The news this past week was proof of that.

Thomas “TJ” Lane shot five fellow students at Chardon High School in Ohio, killing three of them. The parents of those students and the entire community were forced to deal with a chaotic situation never expected. Each was forced to look outwardly and inwardly to hold it together.

Phyllis Ferguson, mother of slain Demetrius Hewlin, had a plan that worked for her. She told ABC News:

I forgive him [Lane] because, a lot of times, they don’t know what they’re doing. That’s all I’d say.

I taught Demetrius not to live in the past, to live in today and forgiveness is divine.

I heard her say in several TV clips that to keep hatred for the shooter in her heart would mar her memory of her son.

When decisions, situations, or coworkers upset you at work, what drives your next steps?

Then there’s this: Julie Hays from CNN reports how

Severe storms tore through the Midwest and South Friday into Saturday, killing at least 39 people.

The National Weather Service confirms 42 tornadoes hit 10 states, stretching from Alabama to Ohio.

This comes only days after another deadly line of storms spawned multiple tornadoes, damaging hundreds of homes and businesses across seven states.

Think of what it must be like to be going along at work, at school, or at home and in less than a minute:

• People you love have been killed by a twister
• Your home and your car are flattened, your belongs lost
•  The place where you worked is destroyed along with your job
• You have no neighbors, no place to go, no records, electricity, or communication
• Your plans and dreams have disappeared and you’re left to start over

This is when we come to grips with what really matter to us. It’s when we see who we are and what we’re made of.

Who do you become?

When a project goes bad or your appraisal isn’t what you wanted, do you look for solutions? Are you grateful for the resources you have to draw on? Do you have the grit to go forward?

When the chips are down, people are watching us, something which can give us purpose.

Each of us can become a source of strength, a clear-minded leader, and problem-solver when there’s trouble. Gratitude for our inner strength and the connection to others is often a source of the empowering brightness we need. Shine on!

Photo from Photojournalist Alton Strupp via Flickr

Hankering for Colossal Success? Load Up on Support and Gratitude

Bracing ourselves for failure is a self-defeating mindset. But so many of us do it, spending too much time and energy worrying about:

• Coming up short
• Making a fool of ourselves
• Disappointing the expectations of others
• Losing ground

We let fear of failure tie us in knots, imprison our initiative, and confine us to whatever seems safe.

To prepare ourselves for success, and lots of it, means looking at failure as a stepping-stone not a millstone.

Think big

Opportunities for failure exist whether you go after something small or big. So you may as well shoot for the stars and see what happens. The more obstacles you tackle, the greater your chances of achieving something significant.

The key is to keep trying. It may sound hackneyed, but it’s true. When you get knocked down:

• Get up and try again.
• Learn something from the experience.
• Try a new approach.
• Seek help and advice

A lot of colossal success happened last weekend.

The colossal failure of pro golfer, Kyle Stanley, who blew his 3-stroke lead in the Farmer’s Insurance Open the Sunday before Super Bowl XLVI made a 360 one week later.

As Steve DiMeglio of USA Today writes,:

Stanley stormed back from an eight-shot deficit Sunday with a sterling, bogey-free 6-under-par 65 to win the Waste Management Phoenix Open at TPC Scottsdale.

Tom Goldman from NPR adds:

What will resonate most for the spindly 24-year-old is that Feb. 5 was his day of redemption. And really, in sport, or in life, who doesn’t cherish a moment when they can say “I am somebody” after feeling the extreme opposite?

Then John Nicholson of the Huffington Post quotes Stanley:

 I’m never going to forget that. I think it makes this one a lot sweeter, just being able to bounce back. I’m kind of at a loss for words. I’m very grateful for the support I’ve gotten. It’s unbelievable. Unbelievable turnaround.

Then there was the New York Giants winning the Super Bowl when at one point in the season their chances of getting into the big game seemed unlikely.  The players, some with rings and many without, kept believing, setting their sights high.

Steve Edelson of the Times Union quotes Coach Tom Coughlin:

Mental toughness, resiliency, resolve. We keep playing, we keep fighting, and we’re highly competitive. We do have great trust in each other, great belief that we can finish, and that if we keep playing one play at a time as hard as we can go that we will find a way to win.

Edelson calls this season, “Coughlin’s greatest coaching job ever…,” adding, “It’s why he was so emotional in his address to his players Saturday night, telling them he loved them.”

He quotes the notably hard-nosed coach as saying,

I’m trying to think if I’ve ever said that before…this is a very special team, and I think it was appropriate and this point and time to let them know how I felt about them. So they didn’t have any question…that I deeply appreciated what they accomplished, where they’ve come from, the fact that they’ve done it together. I wanted them to know it. I told them, I’m man enough to tell you, “I love you.”

What it all means

To achieve big, you have to:

• want success so much that you’ll fight through the negative pull of failure
• deny failure a permanent place in your thinking
• ask for and draw on the support of others
• believe that eventually success, yes, colossal success, will be yours
• keep getting better at what you do
• be grateful for what you have achieved and for those who have helped

All great athletes visualize the outcomes they want on their field of play and see themselves holding that coveted trophy.

You need to visualize your own success, however you define it and see it. Your day will come, so please commit to seeing it today.

Photo from maxbee via Flickr

Help Giver or Help Seeker? Let Gratitude Fuel the Ride

I’ve always been at odds with the adage: “Good guys (and gals) always finish last.” It implies that being a team player, going the extra mile, or helping coworkers is a negative career strategy.

Often we’re warned that if we’re too generous with our time and talents at work, we’ll get taken advantage of. Well, maybe, but it’s worth the risk.

Most of us lend a hand because we:

• Can’t help ourselves; it’s how we’re wired, raised, or compelled
• Can put our knowledge and skills to good use
• Care about the person or group in need
• Enjoy collaborating, teamwork, and a new challenge

Our initial desire to help doesn’t usually consider the downside. We step up because it feels good.

The double-edged sword

Helping goes two ways: we give it one day and need it the next. We may go for long periods without needing help, but we’re pretty sure our time will come.

I’m as guilty as the next for resisting offers of help for reasons like:

• I don’t want to be a bother
• My need isn’t that important
• I think I can take care of it myself (when I really can’t)
• I’ll wait for something “really big” down the road

So I refrain from asking when I should, even when others are offering help.

At the same time, I’m eager to help someone else. I love nothing more than frantic phone calls from friends and clients who have some new craziness at work to figure out. This gives me a chance to provide help as a gift, my act of gratitude for their confidence and friendship.

Counted on or counted out

To help and be helped bind us. At work we need each other to:

• Get the work done
• Avoid being blindsided
• Build our knowledge and skills
• Create and innovate

We need coworkers we can count on and they need us too.

The other day I was thinking about the “helpers-in-waiting” in my life. These are the professionals I can call anytime with a question or a problem–special people who know who I am and care sincerely about helping me like my attorney, my accountant, my computer specialist, my personal physician, and my large and small animal veterinarians.

These aren’t people I talk to every day or month or year, but when I need them, I really do and  pronto. They don’t have to drop everything when I call, but most of the time they do. That raises my gratitude level and they know it.

A help-seeker’s gratitude expands when the help giver:

• Acknowledges the need and responds quickly
• Does a thorough job done and gives sound advice
• Is fair and trustworthy
• Communicates information and answers questions clearly
• Takes a warm, pleasant approach and even shows a sense of humor

The help-giver’s gratitude comes from the help seeker’s:

• Expressions of appreciation and thankfulness
• Respect for their time, effort, and understanding
• Pleasantness, sense of humor, and flexibility
• Reciprocated care and concern for them as people

In a business environment, no one is obligated to provide selfless help just because someone is paying for services. I know plenty of highly paid individuals who don’t provide help that generates gratitude. In too many cases, their help creates resentment.

Be kind, be helpful

In my view, the good guys and gals finish first. They attract a community of like-minded people who help because they want to, promoting a spirit of gratitude that is contagious.

Each day we need to reach out to others while expressing thanks to those helping us, in even the smallest ways. Recognize helpfulness in an email, a voice mail, a word in passing, a greeting card, an invitation to lunch, a “how are you doing” inquiry, or an offer of support. Gratitude costs nothing and makes a big difference.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and other post posts here. Believe me, I am enormously grateful for your interest, your comments, and your support.

Photo from smiles 7 via Flickr

Becoming a “Celebrity” at Work? Take Lessons from Roger Federer

Getting discovered is pretty exciting. One day we’re plodding along doing good work and the next our boss is telling us we’re part of his/her succession plan. 

That often means accelerated development opportunities, high visibility assignments, and access to upper management. 

In a blink we’re on our way to celebrity status in our companies, with new expectations and pressures. 

This is what we wanted, right? But are we ready for it? Do we know what to do? 

A new vantage point 

It’s challenging when we realize that others are seeing us in a brighter light. 

When we’re in a career growth spurt, we need to know how to make the most of it. The right steps increase the shine; the wrong ones can blacken it. 

Being a rising star, raises the bar. The good work we’ve been doing is now looked at with more eyes and increasing expectations. Our every move comes with an assessment: 

• Can s/he hold up under the pressures of the board, media, regulators, and investors?
• Is s/he the kind of leader who can affect change, engage employees, and achieve corporate goals?
• Will s/he be accepted by other executives, community and industry leaders? 

We can be years away from gaining an executive position, but our “potential” will be assessed continually with every action. 

Follow the winners 

Everyone who makes it big was once discovered. With help and hard work, we can all achieve our own celebrity status where we work. 

Roger Federer, a Swiss professional tennis player, has won a men’s record 16 Grand Slam singles titles on three difference surfaces (clay, grass, and hard courts).  By many he is considered the greatest player of all time. 

Once a kid with a temper on the court and now a celebrated tennis icon, Federer demonstrates positive ways to conduct ourselves when our careers are on the rise. Here are lessons we can take from him as our career celebrity grows: 

1. Don’t complain or bad-mouth—As pros it’s our job to “get on with it,” finding a way to deal with issues in a positive way rather than stoke them with blame or criticism.
2. Don’t detract from opponents—At times we won’t win. Sometimes a decision will go someone else’s way, their argument will be more compelling, or they will get the job. It’s for us to applaud their successes and accept that we simply fell short that time.
3. Stay well—Federer is known for never being injured, a credit to his fitness and health, enabling him to fulfill his tennis commitments. Our dependability is measured by our ability to always be there.
4. Communicate appreciation—We don’t get ahead without the help and support of others. Federer always thanks his fans, the tournament organizers and sponsors, and his team for his successes. In our careers, it’s not all about us. When we are gracious, we solidify support.
5. Accept set-backs as learning opportunities—Our resilience is tested when things go wrong. Success is a product of our ability to turn set-backs into opportunities and get better. You win some and lose some. But if you learn from each, you’ll win more in the long run.
6. Dedicate yourself to getting better—A rising career demands continuous improvement in all aspects of our work—training, preparation, self-management, relationship building, and performance. When we slack off, we decline gradually until we’ve lost our edge.
7. Love your work—Our success will continue if we love our work, not our success. Federer loves everything about tennis—the practice, the players, locker room activities, the competition, and the business. If we don’t love the work we do for our companies, the people, and the industry, we will struggle unhappily to sustain success. 

Keep things in perspective 

Success is illusive. We contribute to it but it’s not wholly under our control. If we follow Roger Federer’s example, we’ll give ourselves the best chance to keep the success door open. Swing freely!

 Photo from mbevis via Flickr

 

Doing What’s “In You” | An Interview with Steven Leibensperger

I met Steven Leibensperger at an edgy little coffee house to give him a sell job. The executive director of the Lehigh Valley Arts Council and I, as president, were hoping we could convince him to join the board. He would be the only working artist and the youngest member by a lot. He gave us a “yes” and a lot more. Now I know why. 

DL:  Did you always want to be an artist? 

SL: It’s hard to say. I just know that when I was a kid, I loved to draw. On every holiday, my relatives gave me crayons, markers, paints—all types of art supplies. Creating art was what I wanted to do. It’s the same today as it was then: Things I see, like something in nature, in a magazine, or out a window, inspire me to create something visual. 

DL:  How did your career get started? 

SL: By high school, I’d decided that I wanted to pursue an arts career, initially as a fine artist. I was really lucky to have a high school teacher who became my mentor. He suggested that I think about taking graphic design in college since there would be more employment possibilities. That’s what I did, getting my B.A. from Kutztown University. The hard part was after that—getting a job. 

DL: What did it take to get work in the arts that could support you? 

SL:  I didn’t wait until I graduated to find work. I always did freelance graphic artwork while I was in college, sold some of my fine art pieces, and even did paid photography work. I used both paid and unpaid work to build my portfolio and get client referrals which helped when I applied for employment. 

After graduation, I was pretty much willing to do anything. My first job was working full-time for a printing house, doing print production set up, although I really wished I could have been designing. Still, I learned a lot about that part of the business. 

Then I had a chance to work for an exhibit design company on a temporary contract basis, but the print company didn’t want me to leave. To make a long story short, I ended up working just about full time for both, covering two different shifts. That was pretty taxing, teaching me how to function with little sleep. 

My next stop was a packing and product design company inPhiladelphia where I finally had real full-time employment as a graphic designer. It was great but I wanted to return to theLehighValley. 

Then I applied for a job as graphic/exhibit designer at the Crayola Factory, where I’ve been for the past four years. It’s a great company, committed to arts activities, and an amazing job with so much variety. One minute I’ll be designing a magazine ad, then a T-shirt, an interactive exhibit, a postcard, and even a snow globe. 

DL:  It seems that you never stop “doing” art in some way.  

SL:  That’s true. There always seems to be something exciting to create. In 2006 I started Muero Apparo, a T-shirt and apparel design company. I love creating T-shirt designs and helping other artists get their designs on clothing. I sell shirts on Facebook, at concerts and other events. 

Because it’s important to me to help other artists get visibility, a friend and I started the Lehigh Valley Art Wars, an arts contest, where artists create work live before observers for a cash prize. It was a big success. 

DL: Why is it so important to you to help other artists? 

SL: I know how hard it is to support yourself as an artist. I’m so grateful for all the people who helped me along the way, so now it’s my turn. Artists really benefit when they feel part of a community, and Arts Wars, for instance, was one way to start building that. 

It’s great for me too. I’ve met so many amazing artists who are now part of my network. 

DL: What is it about art that keeps you going?  

SL: I know that making art makes me feel good. When you have people tell you that you’re good at what you do, you want to do more. It’s a rush to know that you do good work. Take that away and you can feel lost. I think that’s true for any passion that drives your career or your life. 

DL: Sticking to what we know will make us happy in life is challenging for many of us. Thanks, Steven, for showcasing the courage it takes to pursue the career that’s truly “in” us.

You can follow Steven Leibensperger on Facebook, Linkedin, and at Muero Apparo on Facebook. There’s also  more on Facebook about Lehigh Valley Art Wars.

Photos courtesy of Steven Leibensperger.

10 Ways Customer Service Pros Are Wired

Does your blood run cold when you have to call a big company for service? Pressing 1 for this and 2 for that adds to the chill.

The music plays. The automated voice says, “All agents are busy with other customers. Please stay…” You know the drill. We’re desperate to hear a live voice before nightfall, hoping s/he’ll be able to help. 

Bad things happen, sometimes. 

We remember when they do. We get an agent and the call is dropped (intentionally?). We get transferred multiple times, explaining our need repeatedly. We’re constantly holding or waiting. 

I used to manage a 300-seat electric utility, call center. I know how demanding it is to process thousands of calls everyday. It’s stressful to reps and their supervisors. In spite of the demands, some are exceptional at it. Why? Because helping customers matters to them. 

These reps stay focused on the customers they’re talking to at the moment. It’s a special kind of laser commitment to one person, fixing things right the first time. They are pros wired to serve. 

The gold standard 

I recently installed DSL on my residential (consumer) phone line prior to taking it off my business line. Yesterday, I needed to re-point my email from one to the other. So I called Verizon, not really knowing what it would take. 

At first, I had my own IT technician on the phone with me. When the first rep wasn’t up the task, we called back and got Tyler who was on it like a shot. He explained that my job involved both consumer and business technical services. When he connected me to Sharman in business tech support, she grabbed hold of my situation and wouldn’t let go. 

I was on the phone with Sharman for four hours. She led me through many rings of fire by confronting misinformation, leveraging her internal relationships, and protecting my interests. Ultimately, the fix was made with Sharman testing it herself. 

Advocacy is the heart of customer service  

Reps truly wired to serve make positive results their mission by: 

1. Understanding the customer’s needs precisely
2. Being invested in the resolution, knowing if and when they can put the customer in someone’s else hands with confidence
3. Leveraging personal relationships to get the best people involved
4. Challenging poor or incorrect advice
5. Respecting coworkers even when there’s disagreement; being courteous and patient
6. Staying in close contact with the customer during wait times
7. Anticipating next steps and having documentation ready
8. Engaging in casual conversation with the customer during wait times to quiet frustration
9. Explaining the process and answering customer questions
10. Double checking the fix and thanking the customer for their patronage 

At one point, Sharman was clearly facing internal questions about why, as a business tech, she was still on the phone with an issue in the hands of a consumer tech. She asked if I needed her to stay with me and I said, “Yes.” She could have opted out but seeing this fix done right mattered to her. The average call handle time in her department was 17 minutes. We were way past that. 

Show gratitude 

I wanted to communicate how grateful I was for Sharman’s advocacy to Verizon, offering to fill out a satisfaction survey and to speak to her supervisor. She was thrilled and connected me to Michael. 

I was effusive to say the least, putting what Sharman did in the context of my experiences as a call center manager. Supervisors usually hear from disgruntled customers, so to hear a rep praised was something special. Michael assured me Sharman would be recognized.

Over 6,000 people worked in that mid-west call center with Sharman. The call volume there is enormous. In that environment, it’s easy to forget how much each customer is counting on each rep for both service and advocacy.

Service work is one way we make a difference in the lives of others and our community. Each phone call and each face-to-face meeting is a chance to help someone. That’s one measure of how much we care. Be an advocate, okay?

Photo from oskay via Flickr

 

Does Thanks-Getting Bring Out Your Inner Turkey or Peacock?

I love Thanksgiving because gratitude is such good medicine. We just need more than one day a year to get in the zone! 

My dad always told me, “When I give, I expect nothing in return, not even a ‘thank you.’ I give because I want to, for my reasons, because it feels good.” 

I have tried to follow my dad’s credo, but sometimes giving thanks is easier than getting it. 

The “thank you” as gift 

A “thank you” is recognition.  It comes in many forms, especially at work, and sometimes we fumble with what to say in response. 

Consider these “thanks-getting” scenarios. Which phrase sounds like something you would say?   

1. Your boss singles you out at a staff meeting and praises your cost analysis. 

• It really wasn’t that hard. Anyone here could have worked up those numbers.
• I really enjoyed the assignment and am happy my analysis is useful. 

2. A coworker compliments your “look” for a presentation you’re about to give. 

• I hate being the center of attention for these talks, so I just grabbed something I wore at my job interview.
• Your compliment really makes me feel better. I was unsure about how to dress for this occasion.  

3. A peer in another department recognizes your consistent willingness to find middle ground to get things done. 

• It’s no big deal. I just can’t stand to see projects stall.
• It’s very nice of you to notice my efforts. I like to help things move forward. 

4. Your team gets together to salute you for organizing the MS charity walk and the amount you personally contributed. 

• It was really all of you that made the event successful. Everyone contributed as much as they could, so this salute shouldn’t be about me.
• You’ve really touched me today. I never expected this from you. I will never forget this moment. Thank you. 

5. A coworker new to your department picks up the check at lunch to show his/her appreciation for the support you gave during his/her transition. 

• I can’t let you do this. There was nothing special about the help I gave you. Please let’s just split the check.
• This is such a surprise. I was happy to help you get acclimated to our department and appreciate having you as a colleague. Thanks. 

I know I was a “turkey” when my responses to  “thank yous” sounded like those italicized lines. We often say them because we feel awkward or undeserving of the thanks we’re being given.  

We need to get over that. Why? Because it’s right to experience a moment of “peacock” pride when someone acknowledges something good about us. 

Thanks-getting circles back! 

To deflect, side-step, or discount someone’s words of gratitude is the same as rejecting them. 

It’s time to stop fighting it. You do nice things just as others do. For every “thank you” you give, there is someone who’s got one ready for you. When we deflect the thanks-giving gestures of others, we discourage the culture of gratitude that we so desperately need, especially at work. 

Every time we accept a “thank you,” we turn it into a gift back to the giver. 

It’s not for us to decide whether or not we’re worthy of someone’s gratitude. It’s their gift to us. Our obligation is to accept their “thanks” graciously. 

So now it’s my turn:  

I am so grateful for the heartfelt support you’ve given me. You’ve touched me by reading my posts and thinking about the ideas I share. I’m heartened when you talk to me through your comments here, on Facebook and Twitter, and in person. I’m so fortunate to be able to give and get so much through this blog. You have enriched me in so many ways. Thank you. 

What have been your experiences with “thanks-getting?” How can we all get better at it? I love hearing from you!