Sleeping with Failure? There’s Success Under the Covers. | Undaunted Leadership

Failure happens in spite of our best efforts to avert it.

Fear of impending failure can be haunting, even crippling. It can drain our self-confidence, crush our optimism, and stress our every move. It can also ignite us to fight the good fight, motivating us to do whatever it takes to stop it.

But failure will come anyway. When it does, we often feel defeated, believing our personal brand is forever tarnished and our career promise dashed.

That thinking would be wrong-headed.

Failure is an enigmatic bedfellow.

The reality is: Lots of success generally precedes failure. Companies don’t get to failure unless they’ve had a string of earlier successes that ultimately can’t bear the weight of the missteps. The same is true for us, as employees.

Leaders are the linchpin between success and failure. They are expected to take on business challenges and overcome them, facing potentially failure-laden problems like:

• Turning an underachieving work group into a productive one
• Achieving profitability from an existing or new product
• Influencing financial analysts to upgrade company ratings
• Attracting more investors/donors or winning grants to stay afloat
• Reducing costs to remain competitive
• Changing the operating model to increase efficiency
• Restoring lost customer loyalty and/or confidence

Each of these challenges has the potential to tank the organization and the leader spearheading it.

In truth, not facing these challenges will ultimately guarantee failure. Neglect  begets failure. Taking on risk is your most important career-enhancing opportunity.

Impending failure showcases the leader’s ability to lead in times of trial. The steps s/he takes essentially buy time, stave off the inevitable, provide opportunities for repositioning, and create more elegant transitions.

Success is between the sheets.

Organizational failures, whether large or small, are often for the best.

When a business ends up closing or a work group gets eliminated, it means that what they were offering wasn’t what the times required.

Business failures are generally the by-product of decisions that took place before you became the leader.  Failures are set up well in advance through a variety of causes like:

• A series of weak leaders
• Low accountability and productivity
• Unreliable revenue streams and poor expense management
• Technology deficiencies and ineffective processes
• A weak economy and the inability to compete

Business “failures” are basically transitions. Successfully leading an organization through the fallout from failure is a significant leadership achievement. It’s the most effective way to recast yourself and your professional brand as you move on.

The road to an unwanted business outcome is paved with an array of leadership initiatives that deliver, albeit temporarily, promising results like:

• Redesigned survival strategies
• Redirected resources (people, equipment, dollars)
• New or enriched programs
• Reduced costs and enhanced revenue
• Performance and process improvements
• Expanded partnerships and collaborative relationships
• Improved communication initiatives
• Broader outreach to community and public officials

As you look under the covers after a career-based failure, remember that the story line is about   the leadership initiatives you demonstrated. The culmination of those efforts likely:

• Created an effective transition to a new direction or to endings
• Demonstrated leadership decisiveness and courage
• Provided valuable lessons learned for future ventures
• Convinced stakeholders of hard-to-swallow business realities
• Revealed the leader’s capabilities to face adversity effectively

We don’t like the feeling of failure and shouldn’t. But we can appreciate its value and the courageous actions it extracts from us.

Lead undaunted.

It’s easy to lead when everything is rosy. However, it’s the leader who gets us through a ship wreck with minimal casualties who earns our esteem.

Too often leaders blame themselves when things start to go south, as though all the decisions that set that course came from their desks. That’s rarely the case.

When potential failure becomes your reality, it’s your opportunity to step up and take the reins. Your actions may or may not turn things around, but your efforts will reveal a leader’s heart.

Photo from arkworld via Flickr

(No) Thanks for (Not) Giving at the Office | Selflessness at Work

“I gave at the office! ” That’s the put-off line used by many when asked for yet another donation to a charity, special cause, or fund-raiser. It’s a kind of cop out to stop the asking, whether we gave or not.

The reality is: There are many truly compelling reasons why we’re asked to contribute time and money to help people in dire trouble, some we may know and many we don’t.

We witnessed it in the 2012 devastation and loss of life caused by:

• Hurricane Sandy on the east coast
• Raging forest fires out west
• Tornados in the mid-west
• Relentless drought across the country

The news coverage connects us with the human misery, the disruption to people’s lives, and the unfathomable monetary and material loss. “There, but for the grace of God, go I,” we say to ourselves.

Many of us look for some way to help. We may send money through organizations like the American Red Cross or Salvation Army. We may hop on buses or get in our cars and go to lend a hand.

In a dramatic crisis, something in our hearts motivates us to help however we can.

Pain at the office

Our jobs can become increasingly demanding, so it’s easy to become absorbed in our own daily grind. We’re engrossed in meeting performance expectations, dealing the boss’s idiosyncrasies, struggling with changing work methods, and managing our time.

The truth is: Crises find their way into our offices. They may affect your work unit, the department, the company, or simply the coworker you sit next to.

It’s things like:

• A new employee who 1.) no one talks to; 2.) is mistreated, 3.) makes mistakes, or 4.) struggles to master the work
• A persistent conflict among coworkers who can’t find common ground on a work issue
• A boss who alienates certain team members because s/he doesn’t understand how the work is done
• A failed work process that caused customer outrage
• A workplace accident resulting in the serious injury of several employees
• An unexpected workload that must be completed asap to meet customer deadlines

The big question is: What are you prepared to do?

• Will you wait until someone asks you to pitch in?
• Will you lay low because you “don’t want to get your hands dirty?”
• Will you  step up and offer your ideas, expertise, time, and/or leadership?

When trouble comes to your office, there’s an opportunity to “give” of yourself because it’s the right thing to do.

Selflessness is part courage.

Crises are relative. A crisis to you may or may not be a crisis to me. It just matters that when people feel that the situations they’re in are more than they can handle, you have an opportunity to offer help.

Crises manifest confusion. Leadership promises to restore order. Your selfless entry into a crisis of any dimension is a willingness to address that confusion and quell some of it.

As with any disaster, we need to give what we know we can. It’s not about over-extending or over-reaching.

At work you can:

• Help that struggling coworker by showing them how to avoid errors or helping them build friendships
• Offer an idea that will help conflicting parties reach a compromise
• Talk to the boss about his/her work knowledge if you have the right kind of relationship with him/her
• Provide an idea that will help fix that failed customer process
• Suggest a change in safety procedures
• Work extra hours to meet that surprise workload

That’s how you “give at the office” when things get dicey. It’s about you thinking more about someone else than about yourself.

Thanks giving

Getting in the habit of giving selflessly at work and in the community enriches us. It’s a habit that builds on itself. The more we do, the easier it gets.

When we recognize the value of those opportunities to give, the “thanks giving” comes from within us. In many cases, “ thanks getting” will follow.

Photo from paperbacklou via Flickr

Still Searching for Self-Confidence? Try Looking Outward.

Self-confidence is both deal-maker and deal-breaker. Just look around. You’ll see:

• Enormously talented people with low self-confidence who never made it
• Bumblers with over-flowing self-confidence who succeed beyond belief

When we doubt, question, and criticize our abilities, we self-sabotage. The more negative feedback we give ourselves, the more we believe it must be true.

We says things like:

• “Since I don’t have an MBA, my ideas will never be heard.”
• “I couldn’t possibly be considered for a supervisory job without formal training.”
• “No one will hire me since I’ve been out of work so long.”
• “Introverts like me can’t become successful speakers.”

It’s time to reboot.

Reprogram your head.

Low self-confidence can be physically painful. When those feelings start to set in, they disturb the way we feel and how we behave.

That means we need to take steps to minimize the chance that our shaky self-confidence will rear its ugly head.

Although it’s never too late, it’s helpful when we learn how to do this when we’re young.

Meet Sophia Grace (now age 9) and  Rosie (6). They are cousins from England who were discovered by Ellen DeGeneres who saw their YouTube video singing rapper Nicki Minaj’s song, Super Bass.

The two girls have become an international sensation because of their repeated appearances on the Ellen show, their captivating personalities (Sophia Grace’s singing talent and exuberance; Rosie’s adorable look and understated manner), their love of pink tutus, and their wide-eyed innocence.

The Super Bass lyrics (which, fortunately, they admit they don’t understand) are enormously complicated but took them only two days to learn. Sophia Grace does the singing and Rosie mostly mouths the words.

During one of their interviews with Ellen, the outgoing Sophia Grace was asked about her relationship on stage with Rosie. She answered:

“Rosie makes me feel more confident.”

When the girls were treated on Ellen to a surprise meeting with their idol Nicki Minaj, Nicki lauded Sophia Grace’s singing and praised Rosie as being her “hype” girl.

Together Sophia Grace and Rosie are a true team.

The formula

The foundation for self-confidence starts with:

• Loving what you do and then doing it with great energy, enthusiasm, and commitment whether you are great at it or not. (Greatness will come eventually if you want it enough.)
• Feeling inspired to press on to keep getting better
• Support from others–friends, family, mentors, bosses, anyone
• Courage to take chances, reach out, and ask for the support you need

Here’s how the steps in the formula worked for the little girls in pink:

• Sophia Grace and Rosie started with the joy of singing together.
• They were inspired by their singing idol and learned that complex song.
• They had supportive parents who made and posted the YouTube video and they had each other.
• They took advantage of the chance to go to the Ellen show and all the experiences that followed.

There are examples like this everywhere. Listen to those contestants on the TV show, The Voice, who, when asked by judges like Cee Lo Green, what kind of help they’re looking for from a coach, the answer from many is: “My self-confidence isn’t the best.”

Listen to interviews with athletes who struggle to break through to the next level, and they will talk about “not believing” in themselves and “struggling with self-confidence” in the big matches or games.

Take charge

It doesn’t matter how accomplished we are, self-confidence is always the deal-maker or deal- breaker going forward.

So what are you going to do to break through the barriers of your own self-confidence to:

• Perform better
• Expand your capabilities
• Build a stronger personal brand
• Achieve that promotion or new job

You need to surround yourself with the right people who will provide the encouragement, insights, knowledge, and feedback you need to sustain positive self-confidence along the way. Then you need to keep working and striving.

We’re not expected to succeed alone. Actually, I don’t think we can.  It’s essential to reach out.

Photo from Ariana fan via Flickr

4 Causes of Colossal Failure and How to Recover

Failure is a bummer. Too often we fret about the prospects, relying on preparation and readiness to get us through our challenges unscathed. But still potential failure always lurks.

The case of Kyle Stanley

You don’t have to know anything about professional golf to identify with Kyle’s story. In 2011 he debuted on the PGA tour, recording four top ten finishes, his career off to a great start.

On Sunday, January 29, 2011, Kyle was playing the final round of the Farmers Insurance Open at Torrey Pines. With a 3-shot lead, he was 77 yards from the pin on the par-5 final hole, poised for his first win.

Scott Bordow, sports writer for The Republic captured what came next:

… his 3rd shot hit the green and spun back into the water. Moments later, he …wrote a triple-bogey 8 on his scorecard. Within 30 minutes he was shaking the hand of the winner, Brandt Snedeker, who bested him in a two-hole playoff.

This wasn’t just the loss of a golf tournament and the $1,080,000 winner’s check. It cost Stanley an invitation to the coveted Masters Tournament and a two-year qualifying exemption on the PGA Tour. It also pointed a glaring public spotlight on him. Never again would commentators mention his name without referring to his collapse at Torrey Pines.

Colossal failures are memorable and often unshakable.

Protecting yourself

Remember, it’s colossal failure, we’re talking about here–those instances where something out of the ordinary and often unpredictable happens when the stakes are high.

Jaw-dropping failure can be credited to:

1. Mistakes in execution and/or judgment–We simply don’t apply our knowledge or showcase our skills as well as we usually do.
Stanley chipped his ball onto the 18th green on a down slope without enough spin to hold it. So it rolled into the water.
2. Changed conditions–We’re suddenly facing unexpected situations and don’t quite know what to do.
With the pressure of a penalty stroke weighing on him, Stanley wasn’t able to figure out how to win.
3. Unmanaged emotions–We let our confidence crack under the weight of the pressure, allowing doubt and negative self-talk to creep into our present.
Stanley seemed outwardly calm as he went about his pre-shot routine on the 18th green, but his missed putts were indications that his concentration had been shaken.
4. Bad luck–There are forces beyond our control that we can’t successfully address.

Stanley’s ball could have stopped before it reached the water but it didn’t.  Such is life.

The road to recovery

Colossal failures don’t define you negatively unless you let them. It takes courage to take on a colossal challenge and equal courage to deal with failure.

To recover from failure you need to:

Stop second-guessing or berating yourself–According to Bordow, Stanley said, “You can either let it get you down…or you can focus on the positive. I did way too many good things last week to dwell on one shot or one hole or one putt.”

Take support to heart–Family, friends, and other golfers came to Stanley’s side, sharing what they’d learned from their own big failure experiences and reinforcing his talents.

Commit to becoming stronger–Refocus on your success goals and what it takes to achieve them. Turn the failure experience into a springboard to renewed commitment to the work you need to do. That’s what Stanley has already started.

The big finish

You can’t fail big unless you’re darn good at what you do. Why? Because you don’t get a chance to be center stage unless you’ve already distinguished yourself.

Bordow writes about Stanley: “…only in losing in such devastating fashion did he finally understand that he was good enough to win.”

The same is true for you. The big stage and the potential for colossal failure are measures of what you’ve already achieved and what you will achieve. The downside of failure is only as big as you make it. If you’re smart, you’ll face it bravely when it comes and then turn it to your advantage. That’s what winners do.

Photo from squaylor via Flickr

Ready for the Big Stage or Too Freaked Out? | Handling Pressure

A some point you’ll likely ask yourself: “Do I have what it takes to be really successful at what I do?”

Role models provide clues to the answer. Look hard at what they’ve achieve and you’ll see they were willing to put themselves “out there.”

Now ask yourself, “Can I handle it when all eyes are on me?” Your answer either makes your blood run cold or excites you. In either case, it’s time to get prepared.

Understanding the big stage                                                                                        

Many of us go merrily along in our careers as part of a work group or team. We do our part but always in the context of others.

If we want our careers to grow, we need to demonstrate our unique talents and leadership to a broader audience.

You know you’re on the big stage when you look around and realize, at that moment, you’re alone with all the responsibility to perform exceptionally. There’s no one to lean on, save the day, or absorb the consequences.

It’s up to you alone to deliver your best and deal with the outcome.

Examples of big stage performers are everywhere:

• Singles tennis players facing an opponent across the net in front of 10,000 spectators, many of whom are not rooting for them; they’re on their own–no coach, no trainer, no teammate
• Live TV news anchors who carry their programs, changing gears seamlessly as updates are communicated through their ear pieces; there’s no stopping to catch their breaths, no one to bail them out.
• Keynote speakers who need show up and then hold the attention of diverse audiences while delivering a meaningful message; there’s no one to step in when it’s not going well
• Surgeons who literally have the lives and/or future well-being of patients in their hands, while other medical professionals watch; all accountability for the outcome is on them

There’s a big stage in every profession whether you’re a teacher/trainer, attorney, dancer, project manager, business owner, sales executive, or community leader.

It can be a lonely place or an exhilarating one. If you want to rise, you need to be able to take the stage when called upon and handle the inevitable heat.

Preparing for your role

Only a fool willingly steps onto the big stage before s/he’s ready.

When it’s our turn for the spotlight, we need to be equipped to handle the pressure. Advanced preparation is essential. We need to hone our skills, make a plan, practice, and visualize what success looks like.

We also need to be ready for the unexpected.

So, take a readiness assessment by asking yourself, “While all eyes are on me, will be I able to:”

• Deliver the goods
• Switch gears when I need to
• Deal with or ignore distractions
• Be mentally tough enough to stay on track
• Use humor to defuse or deflect a misstep or issue
• Trust what I know and my ability to execute my skills
• Take advantage of opportunities to hit a home run
• Draw on the energy of the moment to maintain motivation

Then work on things that need strengthening.

It’s easy to get freaked out about the big stage. We let ourselves get paralyzed by the pressure and the irrational belief that we might fail in such a big way that our careers will be ruined.

Don’t let that be you. Winners avoid beating themselves.

Pressure is your friend.

It wakes up your brain and gives it something exciting to process.

If you don’t believe that think of all the people who have failed at one business only to succeed at another, lost one election and won a bigger one, finished out of the money in numerous golf tournaments and then won a championship.

If you don’t work to get on the big stage and take your place when it’s offered, you’ll have no chance of grabbing your brass ring. You must play to win.

Succumbing to the fear of failure invites failure. Learning how to contend with pressure on the big stage is the path to career success and a special pride in yourself. Let the show go on!

Photo from loop_oh via Flickr

First Steps Are More About Your Stomach Than Your Feet | About Risk-Taking

I’m pretty sure you missed this post or forgot about it. It was my first, written two years ago, marking my foray into blogging. During my first month, I had 125 page views, now I get about 4,500 views monthly, totalling over 50,000 for those two years. I’m so grateful for every reader and subscriber, for all the wonderful comments, and for the chance to learn from you. Risking-taking is a path to growth and discovery. When we’re lucky, we get more than we hope for. I sure did. Thanks.

Sticking your neck out is scary. It’s a different kind of scary than maybe getting the a deadly disease or watching zombie movies or walking down an unlit city street at 1 AM. Taking risks that expose us to potential failure, criticism, embarrassment, or loss is personal.

Truth is: First steps take guts. They represent our willingness to acknowledge trial and error as our friend. But they can scare the pants off us, particularly when we really want things to work out.

What your belly knows that you don’t

Take this blog as an example. This is big first step for me. I’ve been writing my whole life. As an English major, I scratched out a ton of papers. I taught writing for ten years. As a corporate manager, I penned hundreds of memos, proposals, and strategic plans. As a consultant and coach, I’ve written magazine and newspaper articles, and had my book published.

So why did my stomach start to churn when I decided to become a blogger? Because it was a new format, a new audience, and a new kind of exposure, that frankly, I find scary.

My head’s answer to that was, “Don’t be ridiculous, you know how to write.”

My heart said, “Listen, my dear, it’s important for you to be courageous and offer useful insights to people building careers and small businesses.”

But my stomach said, “I’m not feeling too good. What if your big blog idea falls flat and you make a jerk out of yourself in front of a lot of people (most of whom you don’t and will never know) who, before this blog, might have thought better of you.”

The stomach can have a lot to say when you least expect it. And it can start to convince the head and the heart that the risk is too great and the potential discomfort not worth it.

5 ways to sass back!

To build a successful life, we need to get out of our own way. Calculated risk-taking is necessary to build the career we want or the business success that we need. Risks are about adventure and promise.

Each time we stick our necks out, we control how far. The more success we have, the bolder and more confident we become. Overcoming the obstacles imposed by our stomachs, in cahoots with our heads and hearts, are the challenges we face.

When you feel reluctant to take those first steps, ask yourself these questions:

What’s the worse that could happen? Unless the answer is death or financial ruin, then there’s no reason not to step out.

Have I done my homework? You don’t have to know everything about what’s ahead, but enough to have a realistic understanding of what you’ll need to do. If you have enough knowledge, skills, and experience to draw on, you’re good to go.

Am I ready? Take an inventory of your motivation, commitment, and energy level. Once you’ve got plenty in the tank, put things in gear and go.

Who’s there for me? Nothing beats a good support system, folks who are in your camp, ready with ideas, help, feedback, and healthy perspective. It doesn’t have to be a crowd, one good ally will do.

What would I do if I weren’t freaked about this? When we aren’t scared, we’re just out there doing the things we love and want to do. So if you want and love to do this thing you have before you (like this blog for me), then just do it. (Thank you, Nike and Socrates.)

I hope you enjoyed this blog post and will read those that follow. Yes, I’m still a wee bit scared but excited to have made the plunge. There are so many wonderful bloggers out there who have provided terrific approaches for me to model. Thanks for paving the way.

Do you have a first-steps experience to share? What are your tips for overcoming fears about risk-taking?

Photo from from useitinfo via Flickr

The Price of Doing What’s Right—Willing to Pay it? | Leadership Courage

Coming face-to-face with “wrong” tests the leader in you. Doing something about it tests your courage.                     

To get around both, people say: 

• It’s not my job.
• Someone must have authorized that.
• It must be okay if my boss is doing it.
• I just don’t know enough to step in.
• I don’t want to get involved in something messy. 

When we know something is wrong and don’t intervene, we become culpable. So whatever happens in the near or long-term, we share the blame. 

The power of fear 

Lots of bad things go on at work: 

• Bullying and harassment
• Lying and records tampering
• Misuse of technology
• Drug and alcohol abuse
• Collusion and fraud 

We may witness things that are a big deal or seemingly minor, like the difference between a bold-face lie and a white one. Both are, of course, lies. 

We may sense that something isn’t right or see it clear as day. In both cases, we are faced with a choice—to speak/act or stay silent/do nothing. 

There are laws that protect whistle blowers which may be of small comfort. We’re often more concerned about what will happen to us if we “go to someone in authority.” Once we do that, our work life and/or our career likely changes forever. 

So we’re faced with what we stand for and who we really are—someone more interested in our own best interest or an advocate for doing what’s right. That’s a question to ask your reflection in the nearest mirror. 

Stand tall 

No matter where you are on the organization chart, you’re in a position to protect what’s right. Recently, Chris Matthews from MSNBC’s Hardball called attention to those “people with moral authority who perform in a lowly way” when speaking about the child sex abuse scandal at Penn State University. 

Matthews reminded viewers that there are people in authority who are more interested in protecting what’s good for them and the brand of their organization than doing what’s morally and ethically right for individuals, the community, and/or society. 

Jack McCallum, long time writer for Sports Illustrated and grad school friend of mine, recently wrote a column about an interview he’d done with alleged sexual predator, Jerry Sandusky from Penn State, where Jack confessed he’d been fooled about the guy. 

Jack shared these insights with a college class he was teaching that included discussion about “group mindset and the power of the brand:”

We do not know all that happened at Penn State, but we know this much: The Football Program, the engine that brings in $50 million profit and defines the school much more than its outstanding academic curriculum, is to be protected at all costs. Over the years — through national championships, expansion of Beaver Stadium, the flood of donor millions and canonization of Saint Joe — that mindset had calcified and become S.O.P. [standard operating procedure], as it does at so many football power palaces. 

At some time in the future, I told the members of my class, there’s a good chance they will be asked to choose between protecting the institution and doing the right thing. That choice will not be simple because there is strength in numbers, security in the collective and a selfish investment in group success. Doing the right thing is sometimes the hardest thing when it should be the easiest.

Chris Matthews makes the point that we each need to fight to protect right and undo wrong by bringing it into our roles, whatever they are and wherever we work.

Call to action

It’s time to ask yourself some “What would I do questions?” How far are you willing to go to protect one person, a group, your company, or society? It’s a question that leads to answers about your courage, leadership, and conviction.

I have written before how important it is to be vigilant at work. Always ask yourself, “What’s really going on here?” and “What is this person about?” Both questions will help you see what others don’t, position you to act with confidence, and recognize what’s just and what isn’t.

Photo from bean45cc via Flickr

Gutsy or Wimpy? Your Choice | Purposeful Risk-taking

 “What am I made of?” Ever asked yourself that question? The answer is often elusive. 

We face career tests all the time. Our bosses may assign us to: 

• Moderate a contentious meeting
• Host an important customer from out of town
• Analyze mounds of disjointed data
• Hire, train, and supervise a group of interns 

When these challenges are outside our jobs, we may need to stretch, navigate uncharted waters, and overcome self-doubt.

 Our results can either help or hurt our prospects for career growth. 

Careers are a crap shoot. 

That means that there are times when you have to roll the dice. If you don’t take chances, you won’t progress. 

Career risk-taking tests our: 

• Self-confidence
• Skills and knowledge
• Relationship with coworkers
• Decision-making and judgment
• Tolerance for stress 

When our boss pushes us out of our comfort zone, we want to believe that s/he: 

• Wouldn’t ask us to do something we couldn’t do
• Will have our backs
• Thinks this is the right time for us 

So you’re ready to go, right? 

Truth is: plenty of people wimp out. They make excuses or explain: 

• why they aren’t ready
• why no one will accept them in that role
• how the risks are too high 

Here come our fear of failure, lack of confidence, and nagging insecurities to block us again. Even coworkers with what look like strong egos and plenty of swagger feel their blood run cold when faced with a high-risk career assignment. 

It’s about the stakes.   

There’s no risk if nothing’s on the line. When we know we’re wagering our career future on a big assignment, we pause. Instead of believing that we’ll win, we worry that we’ll lose. 

This is when you must ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen if I flub this?” (The real answer is never as dire as the one in your head.) Then ask, “Why do I think I would?” (Get ready to stand there thinking for a while.) 

I was promoted to director of customer service at a time of significant upheaval in the department. I was also a fish out of water, knowing precious little about our customer call center, collections, and dispatching. The company was carrying over $64 million in overdue accounts and facing testy questions from regulators. 

I was in the job for eight weeks when my boss (the senior VP) told me I needed to make a board of director’s presentation on these issues. I was panic-stricken. 

I knew the bare minimum about how the corporate financials were being impacted. Board appearance protocol was completely foreign to me, and the internal political pressure was daunting. I could have begged off but decided to gut it out. 

I was more than weak-kneed as I waited “on-call.” My prepared information was solid. (The executives made sure of that!) It was the Q & A period that worried me. 

I made my best effort, but more than once, corporate execs leaped to my aid without making me look bad. They often anticipated that I would not know the context for board questions and headed off awkward moments. 

I survived this ordeal and so did my career. It wasn’t my best performance, but it was good enough. 

The upside for me was the respect I got from employees and colleagues for having the guts to stand up and be accountable for the business functions on my watch. 

Showing courage carries weight no matter what the outcome.

 Go for it. 

It’s not easy to stick your neck out, but it’s necessary. I’ve lost count of all the stomachaches I’ve had because I was unsure of myself. I still get them, though not as often. 

You just can’t let your doubts stymie you, unless you want to stay where you are forever. 

You get real points for trying. So here are 100 from me to start you off. The rest are up to you!

Photo from debaird at Flickr

Reinvent Your Career—Preserve Your “Self” | An Interview with Cherry Woodburn

I met Cherry Woodburn on an NPR talk show for Women’s History Month. We were part of a panel of women entrepreneurs who were also authors. Cherry was an on-air veteran, having hosted her own radio show, and I was a rookie. She graciously helped put me at ease. 

Her career history struck a chord with me. She’d done it her way, always pushing forward to follow her talent and her principles. So we decided to meet for coffee and, in short order, became friends. Cherry’s story is an important one, so I asked her to share some of it with you. 

DL: Starting out, what were your career aspirations? 

CW: I had really BIG plans. I fully intended to save the world. 

I came of age in the 1970s, graduating from college with a B.S. in sociology with a minor in education. I assumed my first job would be for a non-profit, serving women and children in abusive or deprived situations. 

Instead I got a job in urban renewal which, in the final analysis, was about demolishing homes for green space, turning people’s live upside down. It didn’t take long until I knew that job was the wrong fit. 

DL: How did you deal with that realization?

CW: I thought an advanced degree would lead me to the right career. So I got a master’s degree in public administration from Penn State. Then back I went into the job market. 

I got a series of contract jobs with quasi-governmental non-profits in health planning and City administration. I spent most of my time trying to find grant funding and/or justifying expenditures for my own job, ugh! After three years in this arena, I was done. 

DL:  That was a hard realization. What kept you going? 

CW: I’m not afraid of change, so I decided to move into the business world. I wasn’t going to save the world, but at least, I could grow and see where that would lead me. 

G.E. hired me into their leadership development program. I was assigned to employee relations, handling primarily internal communications and assessment center work where I interacted directly with frontline employees, managers, and executives. I did well there. 

Employees in the leadership program who successfully completed their first job assignment were expected to relocate anywhere in the country for their next one. When my time came, I was pregnant with my first child, and explained that I was unwilling to relocate at that time. G.E. let me go. 

DL: How did you ever have the courage to sacrifice that big career move?  

CW: After considerable reflection, I determined family, rather than moving up the corporate ladder, was my priority. But what I hadn’t expected was that in a few years I would be a divorced single parent with two young children. 

As someone who started out wanting to save the world, I realized that my sons were my world. I was determined to find a way to make a living that allowed me to be at home with them as much as possible. 

Little by little, people started hiring me as an independent contractor. Suddenly, I was an entrepreneur! I did freelance copy writing for training manuals and video scripts. I wrote procedure manuals, developed and conducted training, and taught statistics to production employees at manufacturing companies. 

Then I was asked to work with a team to develop curriculum materials on total quality for elementary school teachers. The American Society for Quality selected our model as their model, and I ended up training it across the country. I could make enough money in a week to cover a month’s living costs and that week’s babysitters. Perfect!  

DL:  Even though you’ve reinvented what you do, you’ve still held on to your ideals. Where is that taking you now? 

CW: I still want to save the world and have a passionate concern about women’s issues. 

I see how women get stuck in self-limiting paradigms and I want to help them.

I’ve consistently defied unfair limits placed on me, but I, at times, still struggle with self-confidence and self-esteem issues. I think I’m typical of lots of women. 

Social media provides me with an amazing platform for reaching “the world.” I have embraced it so I can reach women who need someone to help them overcome their self-limiting beliefs. 

I have come full circle, having weathered many storms.  This current career reinvention stage enables me to connect who I am with what I do. What could be better? 

DL:  For everyone who struggles with “what they want to be when they grow up,” you remind us that we need to understand and follow what really matters to us, our drivers, and our passions. Then it’s a matter of taking responsibility for our choices and pursuing what’s important to us with courage. Thanks, Cherry. 

Cherry Woodburn blogs at Borderless Thinking. She is featured, along with Stephen R. Covey and Brian Tracy, in the book, Mission Possible, a compilation of interviews on reaching your potential, conducted by David E. Wright, President, International Speakers Network. Her services include speaking, live workshops, and on-line programs. You can follow Cherry on Twitter and Facebook.

Self-Confidence in the Tank? Step on the Gas!

I remember sitting in a high school faculty meeting years ago and listening to an intriguing discussion about grades. 

The issue was the potential impact of failing grades on student self-confidence and self-esteem. The arguments about the (in)validity of grades and their psychological effect on kids were fascinating. 

What I felt about the issue then is what I feel about it now—but applied to all of us: Self-confidence comes from knowing you’re doing something well. 

We aren’t stupid as kids or adults. We get it when we’re good at something. Sure, we can get all caught up in perfectionism—and many of us do. But when we look around, in the environment where we’ve landed, there are signs that we have some know-how or skills that really belong to us. 

Beware of self-confidence thieves. 

Our self-confidence needs serious protection and we’re in charge of that. Here’s how we let ourselves get robbed: 

• We don’t keep our skills up, alllowing self-doubt to move in.
• We compare ourselves with others in unrealistic ways.
• We hold ourselves to standards impossible to meet.
• We let bits and pieces of negative feedback undermine us.
• We make the approval of others the measuring stick of our success. 

Even though the right feedback can help us get better, it’s the doing that’s the secret sauce of success. Just ask Nike! 

Over-thinking is immobilizing.

I’m a huge fan of planning but not of delaying. Trying to plan for every contingency to avoid a mistake is an exercise in futility. At some point, we have to swallow hard and go for it. 

Planning too long can drain the self-confidence right out of you. Action and the momentum it brings are the juice you need to go forward. 

Years ago, I found myself down and out, on my own, and in a world of debt. I had just started doing practice management audits for veterinarians as a side business to stay afloat. 

I had to produce documents quickly, so I needed to buy a computer and learn fast! This was in the days of MS-DOS when I had no computer skills. My self-confidence about this was about as low as my bank account, but I needed the capability. 

So I dug deep and bought one of the first portable computers—a metal-cased Kaypro, its actual portability a matter of opinion.   

No lie, learning that program was torture. The whole thing made me so nervous that my hands would shake just logging on. But in time I figured it out, and even though I was no whiz kid using it, I proved to myself that I could learn to do something that was foreign to almost everyone I knew. 

Self-confidence is built in steps. 

No one wakes up one morning and discovers that the Tooth Fairy put everlasting self-confidence under the pillow. It comes and goes, ebbs and flows. It’s our job to keep a grip on it by continuing to learn and practice.

 I have clients who’ve said to me: 

• There is so much dissention among my new employees. I’ll never be able to turn it around.
• I haven’t had to look for a job in over twenty years. No one will hire me.
• I keep trying to build up my business but nothing ever works.
• I always wanted to work for myself, but I just can’t see how that can happen.

 They don’t say that anymore and it shows in their self-confidence! 

It all comes back to learning. 

Learning is a process packaged many ways. We learn by reading, listening, and doing, in any order. Our self-confidence expands as we acknowledge the things we’re doing better and better, until we have to admit that we do them well!   

Please don’t stand in the way of your self-confidence. Get out there and take a shot at things you need and want to do. Remember, it’s your life. Live it with confidence. 

Do you have a building self-confidence story to share? Can’t wait!