I’ve never reposted before, but after reading Cherry Woodburn’s initial post in her “Confidence Chronicles” series, I knew it was time to repost this one. Cherry’s interview with Jacqui Barrett-Poindexter, career services entrepreneur and one of only 27 Master Resume Writers in the world, showcases the core importance of confidence to career success.
I often hear this: “I don’t have enough:
- experience for that job
- knowledge to lead a team
- years with the company to advance
- know-how to start my own business.”
Exactly, who says we aren’t good enough? Most of the time, we’re the guilty party.
Doubt is our enemy.
Negative self-talk is often riddled with self-doubt. We look at what others are achieving, compare ourselves, and question whether we have what it takes. We self-assess against standards that we invent before we know what the real expectations are.
Self-confidence is as much about being willing to explore an opportunity as it is about being able to execute an assignment. All too often, we worry about our ability to do a job before we understand what it is.
Doubt cannot be allowed to rule.
The antidote to doubt is reality. Not some “reality” you imagine but the reality that exists.
Start by looking around. Who is doing the work that you think you’re “not good enough” to do as well or better?
Look hard and long at those people. Watch exactly what they do and say. Pay attention to the actual results they produce. Examine their work closely. Find out what others are saying about it.
Then ask yourself, “Can I produce work like that or better?” My guess is that, in most cases, your answer will be, “Sure.”
If you’ve been reading my posts for a bit, you know that I spent many years as a commercial horse breeder. I knew nothing about it when I started.
Before I bought my farm, I had doubts about whether or not I could care for horses on my own since I’d had no knowledge or experience. The owner of the barn where I’d been boarding warned me, “You could kill those horses if you don’t feel ‘em right.” That rocked me.
Then I stopped to think about her and the other people I’d met who were in the horse business. I asked myself, “Is there any reason to believe that the people in this business are smarter than I am? Do I have good people to advise me when I have questions?” The answers were obvious.
Self-confidence is not arrogance.
Arrogance is when you act like you know everything. Self-confidence is about believing in yourself. It builds courage, keeps you moving forward in spite of setbacks, and enables you to seize opportunities to grow.
You find self-confidence by looking positively at yourself, acknowledging what you can do. You build self-confidence by testing your capabilities.
The biggest mistake we make is telling ourselves that we have to be the best at something before we are “entitled” to be self-confident. In fact, we just have to be as good as the situation requires.
Role models are everywhere.
If your self-confidence is a bit shaky, it’s time to look around and see who’s out there doing what you want to do with capabilities similar to yours. In the past four months, I watched these two confidence-building situations unfold:
1.) A Gen Y college grad, who hated her job, started a blog, made professional on-line contacts, was recognized for her writing talents, started freelancing, and just got a full-time job.
2.) An experienced marketing professional was downsized, couldn’t find another job, talked to independent contractors about how they worked, informally looked for clients, blogged about her “start up” experiences, got great advice, opened an office, and saw her business start to grow.
Self-confidence evolves. Every step you take helps you build your truly capable self. You can mentor, volunteer to lead a team, give speeches, deliver training, start a hobby business, or cover a temporary vacancy at work.
Every step you take to become business fit builds your self-confidence. If you haven’t had a chance to learn the seven smart moves, perhaps now’s the time. Your self-confidence is your success engine. Without it, we don’t move very far or very fast. Vroooom!
How has your self-confidence been tested? What were you able to do to overcome your doubts and move ahead?
Photo from nicer than air via Flickr
Hey Dawn – Love this! Yes ! The therapy profession is full of rules and tight corsets! We are supposed to be this and blah blah blah be that and not self-reveal and always are “warned ” abt boundaries like there is an “adult” in the house reminding us “kids” we dont know what we are doing. Oh brother! Well, I have been banding with a group of therapists who feel that they are not in practice but in BUSINESS and we are redefining ourselves and it feels grand. My self- confidence as you say, is growing with knowledge and experience. I was afraid to break the mold but glad I did! Amen!
Kathy, what a great and hilarious line about your professions being ” full of rules and tight corsets!” I couldn’t agree more that practitioners are business entrepreneurs. Breaking constraining molds is always a test of self-confidence and it’s great that you’re developing a support system. The mofd affirming voices we can surround ourselves with, the more protected is our self-confidence. You go, girl! ~Dawn
I bought a stick shift car without knowing how to drive it. I remember on the way home, I stalled it on a steep hill in pouring rain with cars behind me. I cried. After I got through that, I knew that you could do most anything if you have the courage and want to invest the time and effort. Heck, people dumber than me drove stick shift! As always, a great post.
Oh boy, Kate, did your example ever bring back memories for me. I remember being teenager out on a drive with a girl friend in my dad’s stick-shift VW Beetle. The stop sign was at the crest of a hill, so I had to work the clutch to keep from stalling. Well, it didn’t go so well. My friend threatened to jump out of the car, she was so scared. But, like you, I figured it out and it boosted my confidence. That’s always the way: We have to put ourselves out there and run through rings of fire. That’s how we build self-confidence. Great story, Kate. ~Dawn
Hey, Dawn, that’s a subject we all have to revisit now and again. Just after reading your blog, I came across a quote on another site that adds a nice corollary to your article.
WORDS OF SUCCESS
“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives
at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation
is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse,
as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of
good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but
through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is
given to him to till.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Stay well.
Hey, John–Love the quote by Emerson, what great serendipity! I am particularly struck by Emerson’s line about how a man ” must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion….” That can be a immense challenge. It’s ironic that you’d share this quote, as I recently read The American Bloomsbury,” where Emerson played such a prominent role. Great to hear from you, John. Thanks for enriching this post with that quote. ~Dawn
Just today I was wondering how a person that is so incompetent and oblivious about how to approach a real estate transaction can have so many deals and active clients? This persons lack of knowledge and understanding is real, believe me, but, it doesn’t affect their ability to obtain clients because they have confidence. Not confidence in their ability or themselves, but confidence to know and believe that someone else will get them through the transaction and any jams they get into. In other words, what you said, Dawn–they know they have “good people to advise” them when they have questions or problems.
So what that oblivious, incompetent person has is belief, confidence and no worries–which in the end “can” trump knowledge and skill and even competence, if you “let” it.
Confidence is Key and Doubt is Out–your timing on this post couldn’t be better–Thanks!
Pam, now that’s an amazing observation. To be confident that you can tap into the capabilities of someone else to achieve your ends is an incredible way to go about one’s business. It takes “living on the edge” to new dimensions, potentially putting the services to clients at risk. It seems like a fragile operating model, since when that house of cards comes down, I suspect confidence would go with it…unless of course it isn’t confidence at all, but simple arrogance. Fascinating! Thanks for opening up a new perspective here. I love it! ~Dawn
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Thanks, Dawn, for mentioning and offering a link to my post on your site. Much appreciated ~Dawn