We all know the adage: “You only have one chance to make a first impression.”
The first things we say or do in the company of a recruiter, hiring manager, new boss, coworkers, and customers trigger what they initially think about us. And it sticks.
First impressions are about expectations.
The problem with first impressions is that we don’t always know what’s expected at first meeting. Consequently, what we give off is likely a reflection of what we’re really about.
People reveal a great deal about themselves without even knowing it.
A first impression shows us either an authentic or an artificial self. Our challenge is to figure out what we’re actually seeing.
When we do that effectively, we’re more likely to enter into business relationships that will turn out well. When we don’t, we may get burned along the way.
What do you see?
I’ve had some memorable first impression moments that were particularly revealing. I’ve categorize each by the personal brand label that I attached at the time. I never had reason to change any of them. What do you see? (I’ve changed the names.)
Ego-centered bully—I met Charlie, the guidance counselor, after I backed into his motorcycle. I’d just finished my job interview at a local high school where I was parked, with two other cars, in a small front lot. It was August.
After the interview I was preoccupied with my thoughts while walking to my car. When I started to back out of the space, I felt something against my rear bumper. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw handle bars falling to the side.
It turns out that I had unknowingly parked in Charlie’s space. To “show me,” he parked his bike with its front tire against my bumper. When I reported the incident to the principal who interviewed me, I was introduced to Charlie, who proceeded to, now verbally, “make his point,” as absurd as it was to me under the circumstances. Right then, I had his brand identity pegged. That was important since I got the job.
Caring professional—Carla wanted to grow her professional practice and hired me to help her develop a marketing strategy and also focus her employees around her values.
We met at her kitchen table and talked about possible approaches like presentations to professional groups, advertising, public events, networking, and activities for existing clients. We also covered incentives for employees, roundtable discussions, and training.
Everything Carla accepted or rejected was about her clients first. Would the initiative make them feel more or less a part of her practice’s community? Would it make Carla more or less available to serve them? Would it mean the staff would be more connected with clients or not? Carla has never wavered from her values, truly her brand identity.
Phony manipulator—Brent was a manager in charge of the customer service department’s interface with the IT department. His role was to define system needs and project-manage implementation. I was his new manager. He’d been passed over for the job.
Our first meeting was an opportunity for him to provide an overview of existing and pending projects and for me to “get educated” about his function. He spoke to me in acronyms, vagaries, and system jargon. When I asked about the status of deliverables, priorities, and resources in business terms, Brent’s answers were evasive.
It was clear to me from the get-go that Brent had no handle on the work but knew how to cover that up. His intention was to keep me befuddled, avoid accountability, and manipulate all the players. His first impression with me was consistent with what others told me later. Others had his brand number too.
What’s your experience?
What do you think your first impression is? Is it or isn’t it working for you?
Who has made a lasting first impression on you? What was behind it?
First impressions aren’t trivial things. They are a window into our natures. We can improve them or ignore them. That’s an important choice and our long-term brand identity is built on it.
Photo from Stephan Modry via Flickr
Yup, being a bully is a bad first move! Also, you got the job anyway. That says a lot about how little regard was held for the guys opinion.
Engel, that’s a terrific observation. You’re right. I did get the job anyway. Charlie had been with the district a long time and was well known by the principal. I was both angry about how I was treated and concerned that the accident would have reflected poorly on me. Perhaps Charlie’s brand was more widely known than I realized. Thanks so much for taking the time to offer this perceptive comment! ~Dawn
Very interesting and thought-provoking, Dawn. I’ve always been a person who has assumed that everyone is kind and worthy of trust. I’ve been re-evaluating that lately and have been paying more attention to first impressions – and listening to my gut.
Another type of first impression that I’ve encoutered recently is knowing someone that one has dealt with in a business environment but meeting them in a non-business (volunteer) environment. Do the two impressions jive? Did my understanding of why this person behaved a certain way in the volunteer environment come from knowing this person from a business (albeit a distance) perspective? If I had just met this person for the first time as a mutual volunteer, would my impression have been very different because I didn’t know the business background? (Definite Yes on that one.)
Dawna, like you I’m a huge “listen to your gut” advocate. Whenever I don’t, I’m usually sorry!
I absolutely love the perspective you offer here. (I wish I’d thought of it!
) It’s true, some people adopt dual personas–the person they are (or want to be) at work and the one socially. Thus, their first impressions may be very different given the situation. When that’s the case, my “gut” is that there’s a kind of superficiality at play. Who we are at our core is who we are. You would think that our first impressions would be consistent regardless of the situation, although it’s fair to say situation does trigger what we put out there, and hence our impression. I’ll start watching dychotomy for that, thanks to you! Best, ~Dawn
First impressions are important. When I met you during an interview on our local NPR station, I liked you and wanted to get to know you more. (I won’t describe your wild behavior
)
There was a consulting gig I had with GE. I was a subcontractor to a larger firm, as was “Ron” who I would label a buffoon. I kept thinking he was all-talk and that he didn’t know a lot etc. But nobody else seemed to see it. Overtime, it came out that I was right but I must admit to having my first impression ability rattled by others not seeming to see what I saw.
Oh boy, Cherry, thanks for not blowing my cover! It was pretty special that we shared those positive first impressions from our shared radio gig!
Great example about your GE experience with Ron. I agree it can be disconcerting when our first impression doesn’t match others. People often see what they want to see or what others see. Since first impressions can turn into brands, many simply buy into the established brand and don’t take the time to considera first impression from their own perspective. To me the value of a first impression is the opportunity for me to set my own boundaries, engage freely or cautiously, and to even suspend judgment until things get clearer. It’s a kind of relationship due dili gence!Thanks a bunch for commenting. ~Dawn
Your advice to everyone regarding “first impressions” is invaluable to anyone in business who wishes to succeed! As a senior sales director for a cosmetics company, I try to impart this truth to the women who say they want to succeed. I know by the end of the first month if they have risen to the image that customers would trust and believe! Some of the new consultants choose to embrace an attitude of “rebellion”…”this is who I am…take it or leave it!” This ends with disastrous results! I’m always curious as to why someone would “join” an organization with a proven track record of success in this image industry and then “shoot themselves in the foot”!!
Sylvia, What a fabulous example! Your observation that “I know by the end of the first month if they have risen to the image that customers would trust and believe!” is powerful. This is why supervisor feedback remains so important…even when faced with employees in “rebellion” (gosh, what an startling reality). Fixing a poor first impression is a lot more work and way more costly than making a good one to start with. I shake my ahead along with you about those who “would ‘join’ an organization with a proven track record of success in this image industry and then ‘shoot themselves in the foot’”. It sure doesn’t make your job easier and their likelihood of success rosy. Thanks for adding so much here. It was great! ~Dawn
Pingback: Food For Thought: Suggested Reading 9/25/2011 « BrandMambo